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Got back last week from Mallorca. Glad I went, although paying for it now. I feel lucky in a way that I’ve been on holiday loads of time ever since I was just 2 years old.
I don’t enjoy flying in an aeroplane no more they scare me, especially as I’m more aware of the problems that could happen.

I’m a deep thinker and I think too much all the time.
I keep reflecting on life, I do get ups and downs but I remind myself to keep positive.

Something I’ve been thinking about is when ‘normal’ healthy people complain so much like it’s the worse thing in the world about having a cold, runny nose, sore throat, cough, wee infections etc.
Or even when they have their blood done (once in years) or have to visit GP or appointment.
Well trying having to be stabbed with needles, venflons, central or femoral lines in every arm, feet, legs, groin and neck every week and month, The constant GP and hospital appointments, lots of invasive procedures which are very unplesant, having cameras and fingers down your throat into your stomach and the other end too (the anus into your bowells!!!)
Having cathaters put in, teaching you to do self, ng tube down nose past throat into stomach, minor and major operations, the list is endless!
I agree minor infections are not pleasant but there are so much worse things how their health could be!!!
Plus it’s so much more worse for people with multiple chronic health problems as an minor infection for a normal healthy person could make us seriously ill or even kill us!!!!

I have several debilatating illnesses and overcome and still are so many severe life threatening illnesses.
The smallest of things which people take for granted are so difficult to do for chronically ill people. Washing myself, washing my hair, brushing my hair, getting dressed, going from upstairs/downstairs, making preparing food, getting a drink for myself, even having conversations with people in person or on phone when your in constant pain, feeling and being sick, extreme fatigue, and a lot more, it’s a challenge every time on a daily basis!

Do I sound mean? I’m sorry if I do. I just want others to understand the suffering we are going through compared to their lives!!
I’m sorry I can’t visit you, call you, text you, talk to you, seem quiet, can’t go out, all the time, just understand how very difficult and debilatating it is please. If I wasn’t ill I’d make the most of it and do everything I could! Well that’s how I’m living now, I do the most Im able to, I want to live my life not waste.


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